It’s already quarter to 12 midnight… and a few minutes more another year will add to my age. Yes I’m turning 34 years old but guess what I don’t feel like one that age. I noticed the more I age, the less expectation I have for my self but the greater expectation I have from myself in being a wife to Joshua, a mother to Abigail, and to the kids we met through Teach Them Well; a daughter, a sister and to top all of these being a follower of Christ. In this season of my life, I also become more sure of what I need to prioritize.
I prioritize to seek God first. Why? Because in Him everything that I need will be provided.
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.-Matthew 6:33 NLT
In His presence there is fulfillment. In His presence there is an outpouring joy to serve others, and He holds everything together.
He existed before anything else,
and he holds all creation together. -Colossians 1:17 NLT
Another valid reason why I need to seek Him first is because I have my sinful nature. I’m Headstrong, Weak in the flesh and Inconsistent. I would be hypocrite if I say that I am always kind to others… well, I am not. A few days ago, I had this heated talked with a telephone operator of Dangerous Drug Board. To help Joshua, I volunteered my self to speak with the people he was persistently following up regarding the email response he was waiting towards the status of Industrial Hemp in the Philippines. The thing was, when the phone was with me, numerous time the transferred call for the persons we were looking for kept on returning back to the phone operator which we later found out one of the guards of the [said] agency. Since I sensed that his tone was changing and becoming a bit agitated, I requested politely to just give me the direct number of the two people we need to talked with for him not to be disturbed but he started to raised his voice and became unkind. That was trigger for me to became reactive towards him instead of being responsive which resulted to a heated exchanged of words between the two of us. I even said bolder words to him like… you were there to serve us because it’s the tax of the people that is paying you! I even cited a foolish statement that an older man like him shouldn’t be respected at all by me because he never respect a woman like me by raising the tone of his voice and become easily agitated. When I confronted him, at first he denied it but I mentioned that even if you deny it God will surely know the condition of your heart in the way you do. I said all of these with a very escalated and angry tone of voice. I demand an apology, but he gave it with so much arrogance. It didn’t stopped there, I made sure I hold the operator accountable of his wrong doing by reporting him. But at the end, I was convicted with my unkindness and asked Joshua’s counsel if I need to apologized of the way I raised my voice. Since he witnessed and heard everything, he told that everything I said were just right but the way I said it made me wrong. After we prayed, I was humbled to called back the operator and apologized the way I talked with him but I wouldn’t apologized for speaking the truth. And that his job as a telephone operator was very important because he connect people. True enough, both of us were corrected. He also apologized for himself and even mentioned that blind spot couldn’t be seen without others bringing it out in open. He also said that there is a God that is looking after the way he work.
The LORD is watching everywhere, keeping his eye on both the evil and the good.-Proverbs 15:3 NLT
Before we experienced a Father’s Day Robbery, I though my heart was just right in God. Free from anger, bitterness, and fear but I was in denial. All of it was revealed right in front my eyes when I started to question if there is anything good about people. In my distress I found encouragement not from people but directly from His words alone.
It helps me so much to know how King David build back his hope in God’s assuring presence in most of the Psalms He wrote of his trials and tribulations but remains certain, trusting in the Light of the Creator.
The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
Once I was young, and now I am old.
Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned
or their children begging for bread.
The godly always give generous loans to others,
and their children are a blessing.
Turn from evil and do good,
and you will live in the land forever.
For the Lord loves justice,
and he will never abandon the godly.–Psalm 37:24-28 NLT