At fault, I apologized

Daily, God has words for us to proclaim.  Though his messages are loaded with good news there is also use for correcting and training in righteousness. 

Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalts folly.  

A few hours ago I
lost my cool and became pissed off while talking over the phone with
the personnel of Philippine Embassy.  My emotion suddenly burst out when
I heard again from the same person for the second time that they didn’t receive the
completely signed form of Report of Marriage.  For the purpose of understanding, I will cut from here to recall when and where this started.

June 03 when my husband and I first sent the four (4) original, duly accomplished and notarized report of marriage together with the one (1) certified true copy and four (4) photocopies of our marriage certificate.  Including in the envelope that we sent is the money order fees amounting of $25 for processing fee and self-addressed returned envelope, and a four (4) photocopies of our passports and a copy of my birth certificate.  To sum up, we complied to all the needed requirements to fully process the registration of our marriage with the Philippine National Statistics Office through the Embassy having the jurisdiction over the locality in which our wedding took place.

Few weeks later after filing, we made a phone call to follow up the status of our documents.  After so many phone call attempts and voice mail we had the opportunity to talked with the personnel handling our case.  She informed us that she haven’t receive it but will give us feedback once she have it. 

We received a letter from the Embassy dated June 24 telling us that they received our documents June 7 but requesting us to provide the completed documents of report of marriage and the needed requirements.  We immediately made a phone call thinking that there was a mistakes for we made sure many times before we sealed and sent the envelope that everything were completed.

Over the phone, the same person answered us, and she strongly indicated that they didn’t receive anything.  I tried to hold my emotions and told her, “it is impossible because we also enclosed a money order as payment for the processing fee.”  To cut the story, she said that they received the payment but the documents were lacking.  

End result, we complied again.  This doesn’t mean that we didn’t have a thought that there was a possible negligence that arose.  We actually thought that someone lost it but my husband and I decided to stay positive, stop blaming, and instead of being stumbled we chose to be proactive. 

When I heard again that our documents didn’t reach their office and it looks like it was missing in transition, I burst out. There were different emotions that started to came out.  Thinking of the inconvenience this brought to us, the courier fee, plus the almost 30 minutes back and forth walk to the post office and to the house.  My pregnancy hormones was on top of me.  The phone was set in loud speaker, my husband were listening to the Tagalog conversation though he didn’t understand it, he can tell from my facial expression that I was pissed off.  

That time, I was aware that my attitude was shameful, and I chose to became one.  I was fully aware that I can be on top of my emotions by practicing self-control and being gentle but instead, I became impulsive and ill tempered.  My judgement became poor towards the same reasoning of the personnel’s that she didn’t have the documents.  I demanded and became domineering for I knew that I was right.  We sent it and we had a tracking number and a proof that it was delivered last July 11.  

Though I was pissed off, I told the personnel that we need her assistance to help us to locate the missing documents.  I even remembered saying please.  I became more persistent and she knew it.  She suddenly change her voice and became more calm.  Over the phone she said, “okay talk with my supervisor”.  I responded and said, “yes I will”.  Instead of transferring me to her supervisor, she just asked the tracking number in the courier receipt and informed us to call her again after 10 minutes.

During the 10 minutes waiting,  I lie down in our bed and asked my husband to comfort me.  I almost cried and told my husband that I said sorry to God for my shameful attitude.  I knew in my heart that there were so many times that my action and attitude was not pleasing to people but my major concerned is not the people who perceive me but God.  

Pleasing God is not just telling to myself and proclaiming to others that I am a follower of Jesus Christ, but it requires me to practice and put into action all his teachings and the way he modeled a righteous way of living a life.  I knew in my heart that I committed wrong, the holy spirit convicted me.  I couldn’t even justify it and don’t have too.

Without further detailing, the documents were found and the personnel apologized. Over the phone I also apologized to the personnel not to redeem myself but to acknowledge that I sinned. 

                                    “I surrender” by Hillsong

Here I am
Down on my knees again
Surrendering all
Surrendering all

Find me here
Lord as You draw me near
Desperate for You
Desperate for You

I surrender

Drench my soul
As mercy and grace unfold
I hunger and thirst
I hunger and thirst

With arms stretched wide
I know You hear my cry
Speak to me now
Speak to me now

I surrender
I surrender
I want to know You more
I want to know You more

Like a rushing wind
Jesus breathe within
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

Like a mighty storm
Stir within my soul
Lord have Your way
Lord have Your way in me

 
 
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