The Holy Bible says in Ecclesiastes chapter 3:1-2 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. 2 a time to be born and a time to die.”
With a permission of my husband, a part of his story as being a son, his few but treasured memories with his biological father, and how his father’s sudden death impacted our relationship as husband and wife as shared in this article.
The first time my husband and I met, he became open to me about his parents’ relationship set-up. He grew up with his mother (my mother in law) without the presence and guidance of his biological father.
At the age of 8 years old, an opportunity to communicate with his father happened with the help of a relative. This bridged the gap between Joshua and his dad instantly. As he said, “it was a 15 minutes arranged talk over the phone” and Joshua described it as an “eight years old boy life changing decision”. The decision for him to see his dad face to face was left up to him.
Over the phone his father asked him if he wants to see him face to face. At the young age he wanted to see his parents united. Joshua answered his father with stipulation which goes like, “are you going to be back with my mom?” An ignorant answer that imposed a question without full comprehension that it will never happen for the reason that both of his parents has different spouses and different marital relationship. Yearning to experience the love from his biological father which he was not able to receive from the situation he had with a half a family.
It was a conversation that ended with no assurance of rebuilding a father and son relationship.
Being exposed with people with close relationships with their fathers, Joshua had an awakened desire to know something about his Dad. After 17 years of not hearing from each other, at the age of 25 years old he contacted his father. A perfect season to open the gate that was shut for a longer period of time. This time around it was his own decision and eagerness that droves him to meet his father and see him in person for the first time.
|Joshua’s old rugged Nike shoes from his Dad|
The first time he saw his biological father was a Christmas of 2010 where he received from him a guitar and a pair of shoes. Followed by a hang out with a barbeque set up. A season wherein his relationship with his dad has a connection on how he is seeking Jesus Christ. He told to his father that he was a vegetarian but he was not.
While he was sharing to me that part of story about his father, I became curious why he said the vegetarian thing. I asked him about it, and while he was reviewing his memory it was revealed to him that his real heart intention about saying something that he was not “was actually a form of him saying that his father doesn’t know what he likes.”
When I heard that from my husband, I just thought of these things–what if God our father in heaven doesn’t know who we really are as His children? What if he doesn’t even know what’s going on in our minds and in our hearts? And given the distance between His Holiness and us because of our sins, what if he wasn’t able to bridge the gap and comprehend the desires of our hearts, what will happen to us? Will it remain as is without a possibility of being fulfilled?
But when I got back from my deep thought, I was so thankful that our Father in heaven is an all knowing God who offered His only begotten son Jesus Christ that reconciled us to Himself. He is our Heavenly Father that always wants to be involved in every details of our lives. He never missed anything about us. In fact even before the day we were born and even beyond death up to the endless path of eternity He is concerned with us. The verse in the Bible in the book of Psalm 22:10 says, “From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God (NIV).”
The pattern of Joshua’s relationship with his biological father had a direct impact on how he was motivated to relate and become closer with his relationship with Jesus Christ back then. Modelling Christ love to us by our earthly father as the leader and a spiritual head of the family is one of the important role assigned to them.
There might be a season that sometimes it was not performed well due to the dysfunctional set up of families as cause by broken relationships, but God never failed to fulfilled the part of being a father to us.
That day on Joshua’s relationship with his father was established. Another valued get together happened between him and his dad, but sadly after another two years, the fourth and last time the two reunited was his father’s memorial service. I was able to witnessed his last glance of his father earn. Sadly on my part, I wasn’t able to meet my father in law when he was still alive.
Life alone has different activities under heaven, different cycles that most of the times our minds couldn’t comprehend. But each dot which connects the cycle has different roles to perform in completing the purpose God designed to each of us.
I learned that imperfections of the people can only be resolved by the perfection of God’s love for us. That’s why Jesus Christ teaches us how to pray to our Heavenly Father:
may your name be kept holy.
10 May your Kingdom come soon.
May your will be done on earth,
as it is in heaven.
11 Give us today the food we need,
12 and forgive us our sins,
as we have forgiven those who sin against us.
13 And don’t let us yield to temptation,
but rescue us from the evil one.